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Hi there,
I understand you review cover letters for free so I was wondering if you could have a look at this and tell me what you think and make any recommended changes necessary. I have blanked any personal information simply because this is a public forum.
If you require any further information you can contact me on the email above.
Thank you once again,
Regards,
Jenny M
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am very interested in applying for the position of Setting Administrator as advertised on my Manchester jobs.co.uk.
I have over eight years experience working in administration and payroll positions duties of which included providing excellent customer service to clients, processing financial transactions as well as maintaining and updating computerised records using Microsoft Access database software.
In addition to Microsoft, I also have vast experience using other computer software having completed a degree in computing which I believe would be an asset to the job position as I can use this knowledge to benefit the company.
I am highly organised as during my employment at ____________ I was responsible for administering the appointment diary for the Nurse and Deputy Nurse Superintendent as well as organising training days for prospective nurses.
I also have excellent attention to detail as I was required to process timesheets and expenses during my employment at ___________ for contractors on a weekly basis which was processed in foreign currency as well as pound sterling.
I would be pleased to attend for interview at your convenience to allow me to discuss my experience and qualities further. My full contact details can be found on my CV and I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Miss Jenny M
Hi Jenny,
Your cover letter is very positive and is an excellent start. I would suggest that you make the following changes:
replace ‘…duties of which…’ with ‘…where duties have included…’
replace ‘I am highly organised as during my employment at ___…’ with ‘I have demonstrated my excellent organisation skills during my employment at___ where…’
Include a second paragraph which details why you want to work for that company, ideally including some company specific information. For example read through their company website or do some research and find out about recent projects or their ethos which particularly interests you to that company.
It wouldn’t hurt to add a ‘Thank you for taking the time to read my enclosed CV. I would be pleased to attend…’
I would also suggest that all of your contact details are included on the cover letter too. It’s not difficult to stick your name, address, telephone and email on the top right hand side of a letter head, and having dealt with many job applications over the years, experience tells me the less work a recruiter has to do, the more likely they are to be keen on your application… and it’s not impossible to imagine your CV getting lost, but if they have your contact details they can always ask for another copy!
Best of luck!
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